I know the pain and sadness of divorce. I've been through it, more than once. I know the anger and resentment and blame. I've been there. I know the guilt and shame and insecurity and loss of self-esteem. I've been there. And I know the worry and fear. I've been there, too. And these thoughts and feelings take a physical toll as well; nausea, insomnia, exhaustion, etc. I know them well. Plain and simple, divorce is a process where change is inevitable and challenges come from every direction. When I went through my divorce, it felt like my skin was ripped off and I was dropped into a vat of rubbing alcohol! Some of my clients use words like, hell, or gut-wrenching to describe their experience. "I feel like I'm going to die" becomes a clichè.
Take a deep breath. I acknowledge you for reaching out. You have come to the right place and You are not alone!! Despite how you feel right now, you CAN move through this and not only survive, but THRIVE!
WELCOME TO LESSONS LEARNED IN LOVE COACHING.
IT'S TIME TO HEAL YOUR HEART.
Learning to accept that your relationship has ended can be very difficult. Not to mention, the cruel and unimaginable behavior that's displayed by your ex and yourself during this time, the depleting bank account and the constant guilt and worry you feel around your children's welfare.
I share below a few breakup stories that my clients experienced.
One unexpected night, Barbara's husband, Richard, came home from work and packed his bags. He told her that he was having an affair, that he was moving in with his love of one year and that he wanted a divorce. End of discussion! Barbara was devastated. She had no clue, she said, not initially. She was convinced her life was over, that she would not be able to take care of herself and her children and that her children would be scarred for life. Today, Barbara has the clarity and awareness of what went wrong in the marriage and how she co-created the relationship drama. Through healing her heart, Barbara has found new love for herself and others. She is grateful to Richard and they share a mutual, cordial relationship that is supportive and nurturing to their children.
Susan's husband left her for her best friend! She couldn't get out of bed for weeks and almost lost her job! She had a 7 year old daughter to support! In healing her heart, Susan discovered the reason this relationship came into her life and understands at a deep level, the wisdom that's available to her in this experience. She admits she was not happy and that she would have never left on her own. She is forever grateful.
Diane came home one night after work to find her apartment stripped of its furniture and her husband's belongings! Even after she saw his note, declaring he wanted a divorce, she was in such shock, she thought a burglar must have done this! Diane too, in just a few weeks in this process became aware of how she enabled her husband to behave in the manner he did. Including his departure. She is building a new life for herself and feels like her best life and love is at her fingertips.
Ellen was unhappy in her marriage for years. Her husband was controlling and emotionally abusive. She thought that by staying in this marriage she was doing the right thing for her children. She was also unaware of her victim role in this relationship and how it enabled her husband to behave the way he did. The clarity and awareness she found through healing her heart, was exactly what she needed to make the best decision for herself and her family. In finding the courage to leave this marriage, she found her power. Her and her children are thriving.
Catherine left a marriage that most of her friends envied. Her husband was kind and successful. They had three beautiful children and what looked like the American dream. Catherine was not happy and didn't know why. She said she wasn't in love with her husband and felt like she betrayed everyone. Leaving the marriage only made things worse. In healing her heart, Catherine discovered that very old wounds and limiting beliefs about herself were interfering with her ability to love and receive love from her husband. They are in the process of reconciling and their relationship has never been better.
Whatever the circumstances of your breakup, if you're reading this right now, it's probably safe to say that things are getting more challenging with time and there's no resolution in sight. As much as people tell you "Time will heal everything" or "This too shall pass" there's little to no relief. More important, not dealing with your emotional pain can lead to deep depression and physical disease.
Do not go down this path! Do not continue to struggle with the pain you're experiencing! Let go of the pain, the shame, and the disappointment.
Channel your anger and resentment into power and action toward building an extraordinary future filled with love, acceptance, and compassion for yourself and others!
Gain inner peace and balance in your life and start moving toward the vision you desire both in life and in love!